Staying Strong in Crisis

As I write this, we have all been asked to shelter in place, staying home as much as possible, because of the pandemic. This puts pressure on both individuals, who may be very alone now, and couples, who may be struggling with needing alone time and space. Everyone is worried, and feeling stressed. Here's how to stay strong in this crisis.

1. To stay strong, stay connected to colleagues, friends and family members. Although you may not be able to be in personal and physical contact with people you care about, you can still use the telephone, video, FaceTime and other technology to see and talk with people who are close to you. You and your colleagues can talk and support each other through this crisis.

2. Take time to understand what you're feeling and experiencing. If you're having emotional reactions that are not normal to you, like angry outbursts or anxiety, take some time to feel the feelings. Don't be afraid to cry or express what you feel. If you can, write it down. It's amazing how writing down your fears makes them more manageable.

3. Talk to others who understand, and let them know how you feel and find out how they're feeling. Don't just say you're "fine" when someone asks. Let them know how you're doing for real, and find out about them. You'll feel a lot better after sharing and learning that others are having the same struggles. If you have children, play with them, and talk about how everyone feels.

4. Try to get some time outdoors, even if it's in your own back yard or a nearby park. Being around grass, trees and flowers helps relieve tension. Just keep your distance from others.

5. If you have a pet, cuddle with it. Petting a dog or cat can reduce stress, lower blood pressure and give you a mental break.

6. Talk to a mental health professional. Even if it's a phone or video session, talking with a mental health professional can help you understand your feelings and manage stress.

7. Meditate: If you can get some quiet alone time, just sit and focus on your breathing until you feel yourself relax. You can pray, or you can just sit quietly, counting your breaths.

8. Move: Walk around your yard or outdoors, as long as you are staying distant from other people. Walking rhythmically for ten or fifteen minutes can give you a chance to relax and de-stress.

9. Play soothing music: Angry rock or rap will probably not help, but soothing music, either classical, meditative or upbeat can help reduce your stress a lot.

I hope you are well and safe, and I'm wishing all of us a speedy end to this crisis.

© 2020 Tina B. Tessina It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction

Author Bio: Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. (www.tinatessina.com) is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 40 years' experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 15 books in 17 languages, including Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today; It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. She writes the "Dr. Romance" blog, and the "Happiness Tips from Tina" email newsletter. Online, she's known as "Dr. Romance" and offers courses at GenerousMarriage.com Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts. She tweets @tinatessina

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086

My Nine Life Lessons

This one is a bit of a departure from my typical article topics.

Recently I wrote a book about what I call "good-enough contentment." It's an allegory about a forty-something man who is unhappy with his life. After a magical train ride, he learns to define what contentment means in nine areas of his life: career, family, health, friendships, finances, leisure, spirituality, giving, and legacy. Writing the story caused me to look back at my own life--the things I did well and the many mistakes I made. It inspired me to write about nine nuggets that I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self. Some I would have done the same all over again, others radically different. All, however, are worth putting down in writing to spur your thinking about things you need to start, stop, or continue.

Here they are:

Career: Your career can't take the place of family, health, leisure, and friendships - In the movie The Family Man, Nicholas Cage's character is a hard-charging investment banker who gets to see what his life would have been like as a middle-class husband and father. He comes to realize that there's much more to life than business. By all means, continue to vigorously pursue your career aspirations, but not at the expense of other important areas of your life.

Family: Don't squander memories - My father worked very hard as a baker; so much so that he missed out on many family events. In his last years he told me how he regretted missing so many events and milestones with my five siblings and me. Don't look back on your life regretting not being there for the memory makers.

Health: If you don't decide to take care of yourself, the decision will be made for you - I had an emotional breakdown at age 30 due to running myself ragged both mentally and physically. I thought I could just keep pushing and tough things out. Wrong. I had no choice but to stop and make some changes to get myself healthy again. If you don't focus on taking care of your health, something out of your control will happen to force you into action.

Friendships: Have a couple of friends who would help you out at 2 am, no questions asked - Recently I was on vacation when a tenant in our rental property called and said the washing machine wasn't working. I was 3,000 miles away and couldn't get there, so I called a dear friend who was at the rental in 30 minutes and addressed the problem. Having a couple of close friends you can rely on to help you out of a jam is worth gold. Being someone your friend can rely on is just as important.

Finances: No one cares about your finances more than you - When I graduated from college, I bought three books on investing. Those books formed the foundation for my investing discipline. At times, though, I let others who didn't have my best interests at heart manage investments on my behalf. Now I manage every dollar myself and keep current on investment strategies. Putting your money in the hands of a paid advisor will ensure bread is put on his or her table along with your money. Do as much of this on your own as you can.

Leisure: Work/life balance means slowing down, not speeding up - I've known way too many people who worked 60+ hours during the week only to cram "life" activities in the weekend. They had work/life balance, but it was achieved by running 100 miles per hour. Leisure time should include time to relax and recharge, so use at least some of it to rest, and be careful about trying to fit too many things into your life.

Spirituality: Walk the talk on your beliefs - Whatever your spiritual beliefs (mine are Christian), don't be a Jekyll and Hyde in what you say and what you do. Cursing up a storm in meetings during the work week then heading into church on Sunday just doesn't square. It's not about judging your belief system; it's more about ensuring your actions align to your beliefs.

Giving: Give out of love, not out of convenience or obligation - My son loves to cook. He regularly volunteers to cook and deliver meals to families in need. He loves to give of his time and money to help families who need a hot meal enjoy his cooking. The quantity and type of giving is up to you, just do it out of love and enjoy the gratification you get in return.

Legacy: Live to your eulogy - A number of years ago I created a personal purpose statement. After a lot of soul searching, I came up with: I will work to help others to help themselves and not simply enable them. When I die, I want people to say three words at my funeral: He helped me. If you have a personal purpose or mission statement, live it. If you don't have one, a book like The Purpose Driven Life might be helpful.

My hope is that you, my readers, might be able to glean something from my nine life lessons. If I help you do or think differently about some aspect of your life, then mission accomplished. Thank you for helping me live out my purpose statement. Oh and if you'd like to check out the book I wrote go here.

Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lonnie_Pacelli/16297