My Nine Life Lessons

This one is a bit of a departure from my typical article topics.

Recently I wrote a book about what I call "good-enough contentment." It's an allegory about a forty-something man who is unhappy with his life. After a magical train ride, he learns to define what contentment means in nine areas of his life: career, family, health, friendships, finances, leisure, spirituality, giving, and legacy. Writing the story caused me to look back at my own life--the things I did well and the many mistakes I made. It inspired me to write about nine nuggets that I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self. Some I would have done the same all over again, others radically different. All, however, are worth putting down in writing to spur your thinking about things you need to start, stop, or continue.

Here they are:

Career: Your career can't take the place of family, health, leisure, and friendships - In the movie The Family Man, Nicholas Cage's character is a hard-charging investment banker who gets to see what his life would have been like as a middle-class husband and father. He comes to realize that there's much more to life than business. By all means, continue to vigorously pursue your career aspirations, but not at the expense of other important areas of your life.

Family: Don't squander memories - My father worked very hard as a baker; so much so that he missed out on many family events. In his last years he told me how he regretted missing so many events and milestones with my five siblings and me. Don't look back on your life regretting not being there for the memory makers.

Health: If you don't decide to take care of yourself, the decision will be made for you - I had an emotional breakdown at age 30 due to running myself ragged both mentally and physically. I thought I could just keep pushing and tough things out. Wrong. I had no choice but to stop and make some changes to get myself healthy again. If you don't focus on taking care of your health, something out of your control will happen to force you into action.

Friendships: Have a couple of friends who would help you out at 2 am, no questions asked - Recently I was on vacation when a tenant in our rental property called and said the washing machine wasn't working. I was 3,000 miles away and couldn't get there, so I called a dear friend who was at the rental in 30 minutes and addressed the problem. Having a couple of close friends you can rely on to help you out of a jam is worth gold. Being someone your friend can rely on is just as important.

Finances: No one cares about your finances more than you - When I graduated from college, I bought three books on investing. Those books formed the foundation for my investing discipline. At times, though, I let others who didn't have my best interests at heart manage investments on my behalf. Now I manage every dollar myself and keep current on investment strategies. Putting your money in the hands of a paid advisor will ensure bread is put on his or her table along with your money. Do as much of this on your own as you can.

Leisure: Work/life balance means slowing down, not speeding up - I've known way too many people who worked 60+ hours during the week only to cram "life" activities in the weekend. They had work/life balance, but it was achieved by running 100 miles per hour. Leisure time should include time to relax and recharge, so use at least some of it to rest, and be careful about trying to fit too many things into your life.

Spirituality: Walk the talk on your beliefs - Whatever your spiritual beliefs (mine are Christian), don't be a Jekyll and Hyde in what you say and what you do. Cursing up a storm in meetings during the work week then heading into church on Sunday just doesn't square. It's not about judging your belief system; it's more about ensuring your actions align to your beliefs.

Giving: Give out of love, not out of convenience or obligation - My son loves to cook. He regularly volunteers to cook and deliver meals to families in need. He loves to give of his time and money to help families who need a hot meal enjoy his cooking. The quantity and type of giving is up to you, just do it out of love and enjoy the gratification you get in return.

Legacy: Live to your eulogy - A number of years ago I created a personal purpose statement. After a lot of soul searching, I came up with: I will work to help others to help themselves and not simply enable them. When I die, I want people to say three words at my funeral: He helped me. If you have a personal purpose or mission statement, live it. If you don't have one, a book like The Purpose Driven Life might be helpful.

My hope is that you, my readers, might be able to glean something from my nine life lessons. If I help you do or think differently about some aspect of your life, then mission accomplished. Thank you for helping me live out my purpose statement. Oh and if you'd like to check out the book I wrote go here.

Lonnie Pacelli is an accomplished author and autism advocate with over 30 years experience in leadership and project management at Accenture, Microsoft, and Consetta Group. See books, articles, keynotes, and self-study seminars at http://www.lonniepacelli.com

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lonnie_Pacelli/16297

How Do You Do So Much?

I'm sure we've all had occasions when we've looked on in awe and wondered, perhaps out loud, how someone's able to fit in as much as they do. While we're still pondering tonight's dinner menu they may well have been to the gym, organised the food shop, made several important calls, volunteered at a local charity and completed an important piece of work.

How do they do so much?

- Being organised is the key to getting things done. Without organisation things can become too random, dipping in and out of tasks with very little focus or planning. Lists can be an efficient way of introducing order and method, so enabling things to be sorted by degree of urgency.

- Some things are too big or complicated to tackle in one go. Input or a contribution may be required from a third-party, so being efficient is about passing things on quickly so that each person can tackle their part. Keep an eye on what's going on and where individual tasks are up to.

- Delegating is a valuable tool in a busy life. Being precious and insisting on doing everything yourself may feel like an important position to protect, but not everything needs to be jealously guarded. Let others help, share in the story and maybe come up with new, even better ideas. It motivates everyone when they're included as part of the team.

- Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you start. There's no need to practice-run every possible scenario or set of circumstances in advance. Often things come together well enough once you begin. Allow your mindset to be flexible and receptive to different possibilities and enjoy where it takes you, unless it's one of those times when it's essential to follow very specific criteria.

- Double up. Some social arrangements could, under normal circumstances, potentially be combined. Eating out, seeing a show or concert and catching up with friends may successfully maximise your time and create almost a party atmosphere. Equally business networking combined with a game of golf pulls together two areas of life, as does exercising or enjoying a hobby with family or friends.

- Hire help. Certain routine or mundane tasks like ironing, cleaning and gardening may be worth outsourcing. It may be worth paying good money to free up your time for other things. Equally, tasks outside your area of expertise may be better done by someone else, rather than having you spend hours agonising over your accounts, admin or design work.

- Learn to say 'no' appropriately. When we work for ourselves or are new to a location, are keen to fit in and be accepted it can be tempting to say 'yes' and agree to everything. Sometimes we need to review what we're already committed to, or we may run ourselves ragged, trying to accommodate everything and everybody.

- Take regular breaks and recharge. A twenty-minute break gives enough time to eat a healthy snack, hydrate, maybe get outside for some fresh air. Often people find that they then return to work with a clearer mind and renewed enthusiasm for the job in hand.

- Remember to give yourself credit for each achievement. Rather than systematically working your way through your list, instead pause to appreciate each stage of the journey, every task completed.

And sometimes might it be relevant to ask yourself why you do so much, why you allow your time to be so fully occupied. Some people are constantly busy because they need to be in control and are loathe to pass on work to others for fear it may result in them being cut out of the loop, it may allow others to be seen to do a better job or have their mistakes and shortcomings discovered.

FOMO, fear of missing out, having something to prove, trying to be indispensable, not wanting to let go of the reins and filling every second with meaningful activity can all create their own stress.

But then, there are those people who are eager to try everything that's on the menu, can't wait to sample every option that's on offer. Whilst not wanting to dampen their enthusiasm too much, it's also important to take time to rest, savour, rehearse and make the best choices for you. Enjoy doing one thing at a time. You can always return another day and try a different delicacy.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535